Undesired Travels
by SilmeLaure
Summary: Second in the Leaf series. A young elf goes to Imladris under orders to rest and meets a most unusual elf.


Authors' Note: Here begins our tale with the neurotic Sinda...

Disclaimer: Master Tolkien owns all save for the unbalanced Carmelor and Aravilui.

**Undesired Travels... **

**Bring Unexpected Friendships**

As I walk under the trees of my home, I often wonder how stories could persist of danger and terror here in Eryn Lasgalen. Most of the forest is bright and full of life; birds, squirrels, deer, insects and all forms of life thrive throughout my home. Most of the darkness as been banished to around Dol Guldur and even there it is fading. For the first time in my rather short life, I can safely walk alone and unarmed a day's journey from the king's stronghold in the caves.

I live in a talan, as do those in Lothlorien. In fact, I do so only because I remember Prince Legolas speaking of these tree dwellings after he had returned from the journey of the Fellowship. I have always loved the forest and wandering far from the stronghold. That's why I joined the Patrols against my parents' wishes, the youngest Elf to do so in many long years. I am only hundred and fifty years old, barely an adult as we count things and still, though I have often proven myself, I am considered too young to be risking my immortal life as I do. So many times I have heard people say that I will soon find myself in the Halls. That thought does not frighten me, though I do not wish to die. Far from it; I love life, but I feel almost driven to protect the home and people I love, even if it means laying down my life.

This calling, especially for someone at my young age, sets me apart. However, that is not all that separates me. I am unbearably shy, to the point that I am incapable of speaking to a stranger. I have never even seen someone who was not a Silvan Elf, and I can not even speak to them. It was ten years before I was even able to truly speak to the other members of my patrol. When fighting, I have no difficulty calling for help or calling warnings, but once the danger has passed shy and silent I become once more. I have been nicknamed _dae faron,_ 'shadow hunter', by my patrol for my learned ability to move so silently even Elves have difficulty hearing me. I have learned that if someone does not know I am there, I will not have to force myself to speak, or stand still and make myself look foolish.

I am going to Imladris soon. Since I joined the Patrols thirty years ago, I have taken no break or ever paused in my duties unless forced, so my captain has decided I need to leave the forest and relax. I dislike this idea intensely. So many strangers and of Races I have only ever heard of! I am frightened, but King Thranduil has ordered me personally, so I know that I must go. He has ordered myself as well as three others to supposedly deliver some messages; to his son Legolas in Ithilien, to King Elessar in Gondor and to Imladris. We all know it is to hopefully give us a chance to relax. I wonder; do I really look as though I need rest from this job I love? I have no desire to leave.

I should return home; the Sun has set, taking her light with her, and it grows dark under these thick trees. Some branches rustle and I snap my attention upward, wondering if perhaps there are still spiders here. A black squirrel shows itself and chatters at me, making me laugh. Frightened of a squirrel! Perhaps it is wise for me to relax and calm my high-strung nerves. But couldn't I remain here, in my home?

Shaking my head, I return to my talan, and my packing. We leave tomorrow when the Sun first spills her bright rays across Middle Earth. I am frightened; what will it be like out there? I have never been outside my forest, only to the borders. With a heavy sigh, I finish my packing and go to bed, dreading the coming day.

We left early this morning, traveling down the old Forest Path; I am braiding back my hair this very moment. I woke barely in time to leave without being left behind. We have yet to leave the trees and already I miss home. We walk silently, though I would remain so even if the others were speaking. They are strangers to me and I find that the words stick in my throat. They do not seem to remember that I am here behind them except that occasionally one will look behind to see if I am still following. 'King Thranduil gave me a direct order; do you think I will disobey him?' I grow tempted to ask but my sense overcomes the urge. Upstart whelps like me should be seen but never heard. This I learned long ago and the lesson is deeply ingrained now. I shall ever be an upstart whelp, which I suppose I understand. I am the youngest Patrol member by many centuries and will doubtless never have anyone join younger than I was when I joined. For several days it is like this; silent as they do not wish to talk, and I cannot talk even if I wished to.

The trees are thinner now; we are reaching the border after several days and will soon enter that which is so unknown and so frightening. Again I wish to return and so I lengthen my stride; perhaps if I leave and just keep going, I can do this. The tree line comes too soon, and suddenly there are no trees. It's so strange to me; I thought the trees would fade out more gradually than that. The line, and the land beyond, are so unnatural and bother me, but more than that is the empty sky.

I force myself to keep going without a pause, as I see the others do ahead of me. I will not let them know how uncomfortable I am. One looks back at me with a brow raised and gestures me forward. I guess he wants me to come up so he can talk to me. I swallow with my mouth suddenly dry and my stomach feeling like it has disappeared and come to walk next to him, fixing my pack on my shoulder.

"We all know how uncomfortable you are with this," he says softly, "But you do not need to pretend that you are unconcerned."

As usual, I do not respond. The words would not leave my throat anyway. He puts a hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eye. It strikes me that I am taller than most of the others despite being so much younger.

"If you are uncomfortable, you may return."

I unstick my throat and shake my head. "There is only one way to get comfortable with leaving home, and that is to do so," I manage to say. He smiles and nods, acceptance and approval I think, and we keep traveling silently. Again I want to point out that I was given the order by King Thranduil himself, likely on the request of my captain, but I hold my tongue. No point in needless spite. The sooner we reach Imladris, the sooner I can return to my beloved woods. We continue traveling through this empty land. Wait... perhaps it is not as empty as I thought. I can see grass waving, naturally, as I imagine the Sea might, but also I see a rabbit hopping through the grass, nibbling occasionally. Through the rustling of the grass I hear small mice hunting for seeds as well. A hawk wings through the sky and stoops, rising with a mouse held fast. I feel pity for the mouse; it did not expect to die so swiftly, but a swift death is better by far than many, so my pity quickly fades.

My thoughts drift to home. I could look over my shoulder and still easily see home, but I fight the urge. It would be foolish to tempt myself. Will Imladris have trees? I doubt they will have as many as I would like, but... what do I know of Imladris? All are welcome, I know, and rest, song, food, or comfortable silence are all easy to find. Work I know is forbidden to me, since I am coming to rest. If it was learned that I went on patrols anyway-! Perish the thought! I shudder and draw confused expressions from my companions but I give no explanation and they do not ask for one. So, to decide what to do with the week I will be expected to stay. Sleep, perhaps, and listen to the stories and song. I am young and still like stories anyway, in the same way mortal children do. As I start wondering what food will be like, anything to keep from thinking about the PEOPLE who will be there, I realize I have not eaten today, and the Sun is high in the sky. I had not noticed the movement of her rays from the back of my head to the top. I try to say something and the words stick again. Curse it! Why is it I am so unable to even speak?

To my relief, another points out that it would be wise to rest and eat. We had started quite early this morning and could use a moment's pause to rest our feet. Gratefully I sink to the ground and find some dried fruit in my pack. Truly I need only to break my fast and do not wish to eat lembas unless I must. I eat more than enough on patrol, enough that I have grown tired of it. Again I realize the wisdom of this action, but still wonder why I had to leave home. Could I not relax just as well back home in my talan?

We finish eating and depart, continuing through this day until we all wish to rest, as we have every day since leaving. Tomorrow we reach the Mountains, and four days later, if we travel at about this pace or a little slower, and we will reach Imladris. I hear it takes much longer for mortals to travel from King Thranduil's fortress to Imladris, but we Elves travel faster than most other races are capable of. I tire sooner than the others, but do not speak. I will push myself past my limits, but I refuse to admit weakness. They think little of me as it is. Finally, after the Sun has set, we stop to sleep.

I take first watch and before I know it, the Sun has risen again. I never stopped my vigilance, but I lost track of time. I silently wake the others and take their berating without a sound. One night's lost sleep will not harm me. Better to let them rest anyway... perhaps I will be ignored more this day.

My wish is in vain. All three constantly ask me how I am, if I am tired, if we should rest. It is quite aggravating, but I can not find the courage, or even the words to ask them to stop. Each time I simply nod and keep quiet. It makes them happy, I suppose, and it is all I can manage in any case.

Finally, they stop and let me walk in peace. I sigh in relief and just watch my feet as we travel, so that I do not notice when the others stop and I bump into one's back. I stagger and he turns quickly and catches me.

"We will not enter the Misty Mountains so late. We will rest, and tomorrow begin our journey through the passes. You will have to keep sharp, so you will not be standing watch tonight. You will eat and go immediately to sleep, do you understand?" he tells me. I nod sleepily; perhaps missing last night's rest did affect me...

I eat what they hand me without really noticing what it is and immediately curl up in my blankets, falling asleep quickly. They must have put something in the food; I am not that tired.

We have been traveling for what seems like ever in this treeless land. I hope we reach Imladris soon. I want to at least get somewhere that has a few trees, or buildings or something other than mountains and grass and snow. I am cold, I am wet, I am numb, and I have slipped so many times I have lost count. They just keep going on, the mountains do, and all I want to do is rest! I can not feel my toes or my fingers and my eyelashes are so frozen I can not see straight. I can not even complain as the words are just as frozen as the rest of me. And the others do not seem to be feeling the cold at all. Maybe it's just because I am so young that I am feeling this... My teeth are chattering and I wrap my arms around my chest, trying to hold a little more heat to my body with my cloak. I am watching my feet, being unable to see more than a few feet ahead of me. I am so cold...

I close my eyes for a moment and slip again. This time, I am too tired to get up. I curl up in the snow, trying to get the strength to get out of the snow and keep going. Arms lift me up and I force my eyes open. I am looking into Lagorram's face, the leader of this journey and a friend of some members of my patrol, so he knows my nickname among them, and has used it several times. He smiles and then looks at me with worry.

"_Dae faron_, you should have told us you were so cold. We would have stopped and gotten you warm again," he said softly, calling to the others and explaining to them quickly. I am mortified; I knew I would be a liability, this being my first time out of the forest. We find a cave and light the firewood we brought with us into the mountains. Lagorram wraps me in his cloak, which he has not needed, and lays me near the fire. I curl up again and continue to shiver. Two more days in the mountains we must travel, and then perhaps a day to Imladris. I am not certain I can handle this, but it is much too late to turn back. Finally I am warm enough to move and I uncurl. The others have warmed up some water and made a tea, as we all were growing tired. It is late; perhaps, I think hopefully, we will stay here for the night. Even without the fire, this cave will be much warmer than anything we could rig outside.

Lagorram looks at me and sees my expression when someone mentions leaving and attempting to travel a little farther tonight. He smiles at me and shakes his head. "I think we should stay here for the night. We all are growing tired and young Aravilui still needs to stay where it is warm. We can afford to rest; we are not expected for a few more days."

I sigh in relief and get my bedroll ready, offering Lagorram's cloak back. He shakes his head, telling me that he does not need it. I thank him and curl up in my blankets, laying the two cloaks over me. It is not long before I fall asleep, beginning to feel warm again.

Finally, we are out of the mountains! I am warm again and do not need to use my cloak at all. We reach will reach Imladris late tonight, without pausing to rest today. I have been so happy just to be warm again that I have not had to fight just to say a few words. I am eager to reach Imladris, simply because I have grown sick of traveling. I can not wait to be somewhere that I am not walking until I could fall asleep on my feet. This journey was more punishing than any patrol in my beloved home. I rush the others, but by the time we reach Imladris, the Sun low in the sky, I am dead on my feet. Following the others, it is some time before I realize we have stopped and I am being shown to a room. Flushing slightly, I mumble a strained thanks, having difficulty, as usual, talking to a stranger. I casually dump my pack in a corner after closing the door and look around. There is no light at the moment, and I decide that lighting a candle would be pointless as I will be falling asleep shortly. I can discover what this room looks like tomorrow, when I am awake and the Sun's light will enter the large windows I see toward the East. Yawning widely, I simply fall into bed, neglecting to change beforehand. I barely remember to remove my boots before pulling the covers over me and falling asleep.

This place is so big! And open. I have not found all that many trees, save for a pine forest in the distance. It isn't long before I grow bored with just wandering around and begin to head for those trees. I hear a strange pounding and notice a building, like the rest in Imladris, but quite isolated. I see two buildings, actually, and smoke rising from the closer one. That building is also the source of the strange sound. I can not help it; I just have to go in and find out what is going on.

There is a tall, silver haired Elf standing in front of a fire, and a hammer is in his hand. Oh, I know what this is. It must be a forge, though I have never actually been in one. I am tempted to go see what he is working on, but I do not want to interrupt him. Maybe if I just get a little closer and stay to the side... I edge closer and slide to his side a little, staying against the wall. He is too focused on his work to notice me, which is a relief. I am not ready to begin speaking to strangers. He is making a knife, very similar to the ones I have back with my stuff. As I am in Imladris, one of the safest places in Middle Earth, I feel no need to be carrying them here. I watch for hours and still he doesn't notice me. Finally, I can take the heat, smoke and my own hunger no longer and flee the room. I will come back tomorrow; that was really fascinating to watch.

I return the next day, watching the beautiful silver fighting knife take shape under the silver-haired blacksmith's skilled hands. He finishes the gorgeous weapon and looks up, seeming surprised to see me standing here. Instinctively, I shrink away from his gaze as he watches me. He notices my reaction and smiles softly. "You must be that young elf mentioned in the letter. Can I help you?"

I nod my head in response to his statement and, hoping to distract him from me, gesture at the cooling knife and say, "That is beautiful." I am surprised at the ease at which I say it.

"Thank you; I made it for a friend. What is your name?"

My hair falls in front of my left eye and I pull it back irritably, wishing I had braided my hair back as usual. It immediately falls back into my face and I sigh in surrender. I can see well enough, I suppose. "Aravilui. What's yours?"

"Carmelor. How long have you been watching?"

"Several hours yesterday and three today. I have never seen someone metalwork before," I tell him. For the first time, I feel at ease with a stranger. It is unusual, strange for me, but does not frighten me as it probably should. Unlike many in Eryn Lasgalen, I feel he does not judge me by my age. That may be in part because he does not know my age, but I know I still _act_ young. "I find it quite fascinating."

He smiled at me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "I thought so once as well. I am finished with my tasks for now. Would you perhaps like to walk under the trees with me?"

I smile and nod. "I would, thank you. If you do not mind a young one such as myself."

"Of course not. Would I have invited you if I had? Come," he says with a smile. It strikes me that there is great sorrow in that smile, a sorrow I have seen in the eyes of other Elves. What is this sadness? I go with him, tempted to ask him what has touched him so, but I hold my tongue. Here Imladris, perhaps that sorrow is the grief of losing many friends, mortal as well as Elven. I have never lost anyone I felt closely connected to. Patrol members yes, but I have never felt close to any of them.

We walk quietly, until I begin to ask about what life is like in Imladris. He answers my questions patiently and I find more and more coming to my lips. Never have I spoken so much at a time to one person, not even my parents, but it is as if meeting Carmelor has opened the floodgates to all of my questions. He invites me to his home and we begin to tell each other tales of our lives, though he has many more to tell. The only reason we stop is I yawn widely in the middle of telling about the last spider hunt I was wounded in and what had happened.

He smiles at me, "It is late Aravilui and we have spoken for many long hours. You should return to your rooms and rest."

I sigh and nod agreement. As I leave, I pause at the door and look at him, asking one last question. "Are we friends?" It is a word I have never felt I could expect to apply with another before.

"Yes, we are. Now, go to your rest. I will see you in the morning."

I smile, the one I rarely use and have heard girls back home refer to as 'sweet' and nod. "I will be here." Feeling completely welcome, and for once pleased that I have come, I quickly go to my quarters and crawl into bed. My captain and King Thranduil were indeed wise to send me here. I thank Ilúvatar for the gift he gave me today, a friend, and fall asleep, looking forward to the next day and the rest of my stay here.


End file.
